red balloons

Although we were able to live out a fairy tale wedding in December 2019, real life moved on quickly. When you have a crew of five kiddos in the house, there is really no such thing as a quiet moment. Between just day-to-day cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, studying and our full time jobs, there was no down time. My life became about all of the extraordinarily ordinary life tasks that I had always dreamed about. 

Todd’s travel schedule for work picked up and he was gone more than he was home during the first few months after the wedding. He spent a week up in Minnesota with my dad and all the men in the family for an ice fishing weekend. I don’t know details- women aren’t allowed- but I do know the “crazy Cajun” created some strong bonds with family members I hadn’t seen in years. There may have also been a video of them blending up the frozen ice outside of the ice fishing house, pouring in margarita mix and drinking margaritas straight from the lake itself. I watched that video surrounded by my friends and ladies from my church as I was on a wholesome women’s retreat for church. I’m pretty sure our weekend experiences could NOT have been more different. 

I also remember him mentioning that my dad really wasn’t feeling well while he was there- some type of respiratory bug. This particular bug held on for a good couple of weeks and I got regular updates from my mom, as Todd had gotten plane tickets and a hotel room for my mom and dad to meet us in New Orleans for Mardi Gras later in February and we wanted to be sure my dad was able to travel. 

I had been hearing Mardi Gras stories from Todd since the very first parenting Bible study we were in together. His involvement in the celebration and parade was such a big piece of who he was. Being from Minnesota, I didn’t have much of a history or an understanding of the Mardi Gras traditions or season. He was excited to introduce me to that piece of his life.  Todd and I traveled to the French Quarter a few days before the parties were to begin to spend some time together and to pick up a copy of our marriage license, since we were almost three months post-wedding and we still hadn’t received anything. I was unable to make any moves to change my name for social security or bank accounts or any of the other 3,572 changes that come with getting married and changing your name until I had that official document. 

I remember the morning we went to city hall to pick up the license very clearly. We went to Cafe Beignet for breakfast, then grabbed an Uber to go to city hall. Todd charmed the woman in the licensing office and we were on our way back in record time. We ordered an Uber again, and jumped in the car with no hesitation. We were about one block into the drive when I looked at Todd, who was staring back at me, and I mouthed the word “What?” Todd grabbed my hand, then said “Hey buddy, are you okay man? You don’t sound that good.” 

Our driver finished hacking and responded, “Yeah, man, I’m good. Just been sick and can’t shake this cough. I was out of the country last week, just got back and trying to get a few rides in to earn some money for the family. But I’ve got some cough drops, I’m doing good man, thanks.” 

To which Todd replied, “Okay. You just really don’t sound great. Do you want me to get you a water? Also- I need to stop at an ATM, can you pull over at this corner and just wait at the curb for me until I get done?” He told me to stay in the car with this poor, sick man, while he went into the convenience store for cash and a bottle of water for our driver. I really did try to hold my breath as much as I could, but it was a good 15 minute wait and another 15 minute drive back to the hotel after that. And yet, I had a few official paper copies of the marriage license, so mission accomplished on my part. I put the sick driver out of my mind and prepared to have fun for three days straight.

And oh. my. goodness. We had some fun. For three days straight- maybe even longer- I honestly cannot remember ALL the specifics…  I was introduced to a whirlwind of people and did my best to keep up with all the festivities, but it was all a little overwhelming. Through it all, I got to see a whole different side of Todd that I had seen glimpses of here and there, but watching him take charge of the festivities and parties while also checking in on me frequently to make sure I was okay and that I was having fun just endeared him even further to me. I also got to spend a lot of time with some of his very dear friends who I had only had the chance to meet briefly before this trip. The fact that they were all amazing people did not surprise me at all. It was an epic weekend of parades and parties and lunches and dinners filled with so many people at all times. 

We returned home on the fourth day, and I was exhausted. Two days later, Todd boarded a plane and headed to Colorado for a 10-day ski trip he had had planned for more than a year, since before we even started dating. The day after he left, I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck. Every part of my body ached and my head was throbbing. And yet again, as I was the only parent in the home, my training as a single parent kicked into high gear, and I got the children all out the door to school with everything they needed every day and made sure they were fed dinner every night and attended every practice and church event on the schedule. I worked full time while laid out on the couch. I did not go to the gym once because I was unable to catch my breath. It was a full 14 days before I felt like I was able to walk without getting dizzy and short of breath. 

At this point, the buzz and murmurs of this COVID disease in China started hitting the news in a big way. There were conflicting opinions and information being released daily. As an adult, it was difficult to sort through what was real, true information and what wasn’t. At no time ever did I connect any type of dots between myself being knocked out cold for two weeks to the 30+ minutes I spent in a small sedan with an Uber driver who sounded like he was dying, who had just returned from an out-of-the-country trip (and/or one of the HUNDREDS of other people I was in close contact with over the following days- I shouldn’t jump to conclusions- but he seems a very likely culprit and it seems like a whole different world we lived in where neither of us were wearing a mask while in the vehicle with a stranger). At least, not until after the world shut down and we were able to get antibody testing, which showed I had strong antibodies in my system. 

Todd got home from his trip on March 10th. We had joked about and seen all the memes and quotes on social media regarding how that particular Friday was going to be Friday the 13th and a full moon and what could possibly go wrong? Why do we tempt God, y’all? For the state of Georgia, that was the day that the world shut down and stay-at-home orders were issued. Fun times were about to begin… 

I don’t think I have mentioned this, but I am a full-time work-from-home colleague. When I started my career with my current company, I lived in Memphis, Tennessee, and I went into our corporate headquarters daily. I am an incredibly hard worker who excels at what I do. And I have years of experience in the role. Which is why when I moved from Tennessee to Georgia in 2009, my boss told me they didn’t want to lose my talent on the team, and they arranged for me to continue to work for them remotely, and more importantly, remotely from home instead of just in our Atlanta-based office. So I have been working from home for more than 10 years (almost 13 now!), and I am quite comfortable doing so. 

As the rest of the world was about to find out, working from home is not exactly a walk in the park. It takes so much self-discipline to be focused on work tasks rather than the dishes, laundry, cooking, etc. While you can have a certain degree of control over your environment, if you have pets, they really do not care if Mommy has a conference call- if that delivery driver is bringing a package to the neighbor’s house, the dog needs to let me know by barking continuously, or if the cats are out of food or water or just want a treat or even just to be rude, they will scratch at my chair or sit behind me and meow loudly. 

When the world shut down and the kids became virtual students, because I had moved my office into the dining room, my work area was open to the front door, the living room and the kitchen. Instead of having a lovely, quiet workspace with a door, I had a space where it really seemed like every child needed to be for all hours of the day. It was no longer just the pets that were causing a distraction and it was a big adjustment. I know that most of the world was adjusting to the same situation. Todd attempted to work from home for all of 10 minutes one day, then he packed it up and headed to his isolated office on a daily basis. 

I remember one specific dinner conversation between the kids where we discussed what we would do as a family if the recommendation for the amount of people allowed in one location went below seven people- they were all choosing weapons and opponents for backyard Hunger Games style competitions…I’m thankful it never actually came to that. 

I don’t think there is any way to fully touch on the effect that the COVID-19 pandemic had on the world as a whole. I am actually not even going to try. But I will focus on how it affected our little corner of the world and the extraordinarily ordinary life we were trying to settle into.

I realized so many new things about myself during the pandemic- anyone else? For my entire life, I have always followed all the rules. I never realized how difficult I tend to make things for myself. For instance, I have never been big on hugging- until I was told I wasn’t allowed to hug anyone outside the family. This devastated me- and made me take stock in why in the world it upset me when I was never someone who felt the need to hug anyone, ever. I figure I must have a contrary nature to some degree- although it’s an attribute I have never acknowledged. I still haven’t fully worked any of that out- but it is helpful to understand it about myself when I have downtime to analyze some of the choices I’ve had to make over the last year. 

Outside of the deep dive into my own personality that I was forced into by the pandemic and the inability to meet friends and extended family on either side of our new family unit, for our household, it was also an incredible blessing in so many ways. For our world, it meant that the busy schedules of seven individuals went quiet. It meant that the busyness of running to sports practices and games, the distractions of school events and demands, the strain of work trips necessary for Todd and myself, were gone. We were gifted with nothing but time to spend with just us- trying to work through gaining an appreciation for every single family member’s unique personality quirks and needs, fully devoted to time together to work on blending the family. 

We quickly figured out that even though most of the world was shut down and staying at home, we had the freedom and luxury of owning a camper, which allowed us to travel almost every weekend. Whether it was as a full family or just the two of us, we spent a majority of our weekends (sometimes even full weeks if the campground had a solid wi-fi connection that would allow the kids to do schoolwork outside at the picnic tables while I worked next to them) out in nature, riding bikes, playing card games, reading, making s’mores around the fire and making so many memories. 

I’m so incredibly grateful for the months we got to spend living an extraordinarily ordinary life, even though there was absolutely nothing ordinary about the year 2020 and the first few months of 2021. I’m incredibly grateful that I had a partner in life to help navigate unprecedented times who helped keep our family centered on laughter and focusing on the positive during a time when my contrary self could have been focused on so many losses (like being unable to hug someone that I NEVER would have wanted to hug before I was told I couldn’t). I am constantly reminded of how Todd taught me that your attitude shapes your life, and I am so much more aware of when I am making things harder for myself because of the perspective I choose to take when situations come up that I do not want to deal with. “Life is short, just be happy.” Easier said than done on some days, but still the best advice that he repeated over and over and over and that I hope I can pass on to as many people as need to hear it.