red balloons

It’s Father’s Day. We spent the day at the lacrosse fields where my youngest two boys, Alex and Mason, had their final day of games for this summer season. They played for a program with so many great kids and even greater parents to hang with on the sidelines. It’s always fun to see the kids doing something that they love but today was a little tough, seeing so many dads with their kids. 

Handling holidays while grieving- even if (and maybe especially after) time has passed- is difficult. Being around so many people, and so many families, on this day had me completely divided. A big part of me spent the day feeling sad, wishing that Todd could be there with us on the sidelines and thinking about how much he would have enjoyed seeing Mason’s team win the championship and how much help he would have been when Alex was injured and restricted from playing due to a possible ACL injury. Another part of me was on the verge of tears, feeling so happy to see so many very involved dads on the sideline, and I wanted to go around hugging each of the dads that were there (see- COVID seriously changed this piece of my personality!!) and telling them to soak in every minute with their kids. 

Todd was an incredible dad. Every time that he spoke about his girls, his eyes would light up and there was a particular smile that he had only for Hayley and Kylie. I remember thinking early on in our relationship about how much I wished he would feel strongly enough about me to be able to see it in his eyes and his smile in that way. (I think we got there eventually…)

But because he wasn’t my dad, I asked the kids if they wanted to take over the post this week and explain who Todd was to them. So, to honor Todd as the amazing father that he was, in their own words:

Mason (age 11): While Todd spent much of his time at work, the time he spent with me made up for every second. 

Alex (age 12): Todd was strict, but he taught me to be a better man than I was. 

Jack (age 16): Todd always offered to help me with anything I needed. For example, before my first job interview, he helped me practice and gave me tips on how to better present myself. 

As I talked with the girls yesterday about taking over the post today, they both agreed that I could share the words that they spoke during Todd’s celebration of life and funeral services. During those first few weeks after he passed, I lost my words completely. But these two incredible girls honored their dad in the very best way and stood in front of all of his family and friends to share the following words: 

Kylie (age 16): 

Hi, my name is Kylie Domangue. The first word that comes to mind when I think of my dad is amazing. I know him as a Dad, a coach and a friend. I have so many memories of my Dad. One of my best memories was going camping in a tent, just him and me. When I was younger, I remember how excited my dad was when I made my first home run in softball. He was always there for me when I had bad injuries and would take me to his office to be treated. He was hard working at times but always found time for family. He was also brave and strong through the hardest times. I will never forget how he was to me and to everyone around him. He made so many people happy even when he was down. I am so thankful for a dad like him.

Hayley (age 21):

I never expected to stand here in front of my friends and family having to sum up the man I most admire. My father. It amazes me how many lives he has touched in such a short span of time he has been with us. I could stand here and list all the ways I admire him, but if you don’t mind I would like to at least share a few. 

First and foremost my dad was an ass that for some reason everyone loved. He was stubborn, loud, smart, strong, obnoxious, and above all he was open hearted and the most generous person I have ever met. 

Growing up with my dad wasn’t always easy. I was always told I look like my mom, but I have the personality of my dad. I guess that is why we always butted heads so much, but through it all he was always there for me when I needed him. 

In my senior year of high school, I remember walking into my living room and telling my dad I wanted to be a cheerleader. He looked at me and laughed and told me that if I learned how to do a back handspring he would pay for me to be a cheerleader. I came home a few weeks later and told him that I learned how to do one. He was so impressed and told me he knew I could do it. Even though I barely made that cheer team and was always off by a few beats, he showed up for all the games I cheered at. I think the biggest lesson that my dad taught me is that when I put my mind to something, I can accomplish anything, and even if it gets hard to not give up.

A few months ago, my dad and I started playing pickleball (it’s like a smaller version of tennis) and if you knew my dad he was a pretty good tennis player so he obviously knew how to do all these crazy tennis shots, but it was our new thing we did together. We both were so excited every Tuesday and Thursday because it was our pickleball night, and he would ask me every day in between, “Are we going to play pickleball tomorrow?” We would get out there on the court and I would hear from behind me “Why didn’t you hit the ball? It went right past you!” and my response would be “I thought you had it.” 

There are so many stories I could tell you, but I know I will remember those moments and hold them close to me and I hope you all do the same. Todd Allen Domangue was not just a father but a friend. A son. A brother. A husband. An uncle. A businessman. A coach, a triathlete, and so much more to all of you. I am so grateful that when my dad passed he was with his best friend who loved him doing what he loved. I know you have all heard this before but may have not realized it till now, life is a lot shorter than any of us realize, and you just don’t know what you have till it’s gone. I know it was not easy to raise two daughters, especially after my mom died, and I know there is no way I can pay you back, I just want to let you know you are appreciated. it doesn’t matter how far I go in life, I will always be your little girl and you will always be my dad.

Thank you.