red balloons

Hey there y’all- happy new year! 

I’m well aware we are two (now three!) weeks into 2024- I received the best gift ever on my birthday (New Year’s Eve) and woke up New Year’s Day with a severe case of COVID. I am finally able to sit upright for more than a few hours at a time, and my brain is starting to focus a bit. In true single-mom fashion, I was able to really give in to the symptoms for approximately 24 hours. After that, I was still required to be getting kids up and off to school, making sure groceries were delivered and the little people were being fed (thank God for delivery services!). Honestly- my crew is fairly self-sufficient so I really was able to direct them during the few minutes I was conscious from my position napping on the couch most of the time. It was rough.  

And because of how this virus works, when Mama can’t isolate while symptomatic- I watched as one kiddo after another woke up sick in the week that followed. Everyone is finally back in good shape and functioning fully again. It’s been a long few weeks and I’m really not feeling rested or rejuvenated after the holiday break at all.  

With that said, I’ve been itching to spend some time writing. The start of each new year tends to be a natural time to reflect on the year that just ended. It’s also a time to set intentions/resolutions for the year to come. I was really looking forward to both. So as I am coming out of the fog of COVID, I’m just pretending that we are right at the start of the new year- I’ll just consider the last two/three weeks as lost- and sometimes that’s just what you need to do.

In January of 2023, I posted about all the #thingsIplantoworkon. I chose my word for 2023- “focus.” In looking back at 2023 as a whole, I can say that I “focus”ed on absolutely none of the #thingsIplannedtoworkon. Sigh. 

BUT.

2023 was an amazing year. There were so many really good things that happened. 

The kids all had a pretty good year overall. We survived 6th, 7th, 10th and 11th grades. We spent a whole lot of time on the lacrosse fields (Mason and Alex), at work (Welcome to Moe’s! (Jack) and It’s my pleasure (Chick-fil-A) (Kylie)), the basketball court (Mason), studying at Panera (Jack), and driving around learning the golf cart paths (Kylie). We started 7th, 8th, 11th and 12th grades. 

We applied for all the colleges and are making plans for the next year. I am firmly in denial over the fact that I will be watching Jack walk across the stage in May and accept his high school diploma. And I just had my first phone conversation this week where I was firmly told, “I can’t speak with you because he is 18 and is an adult.” What?!? And to know that Kylie is about to hit that same milestone next month has me in complete panic mode. It’ll be fine. Really. 

And very exciting- we welcomed little miss Emerie Marie Domangue to the family in December. She is absolutely perfect and by the time her mama (Hayley) allows me near her again after all the sickness around this house I feel like she’s going to be a teenager. This Glamma (aka Gigi) is so excited to spend more time getting baby snuggles. 

 It was also a really great year for me- both personally and professionally. 

Personally, I successfully survived year two of grief- which is hands down the worst and no one will ever convince me otherwise. I was able to start looking forward to how I want my life to look, knowing that there is no way for Todd to be part of that picture. I dipped my toe into counseling- trying to work through some serious anxiety issues. That is still a serious work in progress. 

Professionally, I worked hard all year, which resulted in a big promotion in October. I still work in the same area, but I’ve stepped into a management role. It’s been an adjustment but it is such a good challenge for me. I continue to learn new things daily. 

But outside of all that- my main focus in 2023 was this fun new thing that I did- Two Small Coins, which is a nonprofit I started with a very good friend of mine with a mission to support widows and widowers. It started quietly during the holiday season of 2022 when I met this dear friend and fellow widow for breakfast, and she gifted me with what she called a “Hope Stocking.” As she handed it to me, she just said, “I know how hard it is on Christmas morning to have no one there to fill your stocking and I didn’t want you to feel that.” It really hit home with me, since 2022 was the first year that we really tried to handle the holidays. In 2021, I had run away to Disney and ignored the season altogether. 

As we continued to get together following the holidays, and as we talked to several friends and other widows in the community, the general question became “Why can’t we do this for more people?” Both Erin and I felt God calling us into this ministry, and we both laughed and said a polite and firmly Southern “Oh bless your heart, but no thank you. We’re good.” We both have young children still at home, and we had enough on our plates between juggling running our households, parenting full time and managing grief. 

And then God just started opening doors. It was as if he was laying out the plan for us:

“Just take this one coffee date with this friend of a friend who has connections with local corporations.”

“Look, this attorney has offered to file papers for just the court fee.”

“Let’s just do this one Zoom call with this resource who works with nonprofits and can lay out a plan of how to get started.” 

“Dive into your Bibles- your story of why will be clear. Pick a name.”

“Maybe meet with this pastor to discuss your thoughts and confirm this ministry is needed.” 

“Here’s a conference dedicated to nonprofits- offered free of charge. They want you to participate, even though you’d be brand new.” 

And five months later, Two Small Coins, Inc. was officially born. We had an official launch party two months later, celebrating Christmas in July, and began the work of spreading the word about our mission and the heart behind it. 

Community members stepped up to spread the word. Women in the community with a talent for the sewing machine made us close to 200 handmade stockings out of donated materials. We were able to speak at our church and received a generous donation. 

We learned so many lessons along the way. We met with widows at all ages and stages of grief, and we were touched by each and every story. I know that Todd was with me in all those moments- he definitely had a knack for listening to peoples’ stories and connecting on a deeper level.

We had fun learning how to make shipping labels and creating a whole experience for the widow(er) receiving the stocking, since we wouldn’t be there to physically hand it to each of them. We signed 130 letters by hand.  

We set a goal to hand out 100 fully-stuffed stockings to widows/widowers for Christmas in 2023.  We were incredibly blessed to be able to send out well over 120 stockings to widows and widowers in 28 different states. 

We are still processing the way that God opened up the doors for us to love on the widows/widowers that were nominated, and we are deep in the plans for how to continue to make them feel seen- both those that we are already connected to and the unfortunate many who will also face this journey in the future. More details to be released soon… (we are still in the midst of running households, parenting full time and managing grief so please be patient!) 

This post is absolutely not a call to action or request for donations for Two Small Coins (although I’m sure that will come in time!) – it’s just a general overview of why I was so very, very quiet on this blog in 2023. Two Small Coins is a giant red balloon from my personal 2023. 

Here’s hoping that I can magically find a lot more time in 2024 to share what’s happening in our small corner of the world as we continue to look for the good- the red balloons- as life continues to rush by!